How long is long?
Recovery Recap — 250 days post-Guillain Barre Syndrome.
Yes, I turned 250 days old today after the ambush by the one and only “Guillain Barre Syndrome”. The last I remember was counting day 60! Telling my physiotherapist it has been 60 days since the ambush and everyone around me asked me not to count down, encouraged me of my recovery.
Guillain Barre is a simple( I like to call it simple, it isn’t in nature) but rare disorder in which your body’s immune system attacks your nerves. Weakness and tingling in your extremities are usually the first symptoms. These sensations can quickly spread, eventually paralyzing your whole body. The exact cause of Guillain-Barré syndrome is unknown. But it is often preceded by an infectious illness such as a respiratory infection or the stomach flu.
The virus succeeded in its goal and made me into a talking, smiling child who cannot do anything on her own, but at the same time, the virus could not predict all the support I had, all my family and friends with great will-power to save me from my own-self(immunity).
Day 1: Is it Friday? Am I falling? Don’t worry Sneha, Monday morning you have an office, you will be fine!!
Day 4: It is Monday!! I can’t even lift my hand. I need to be rushed to emergency.
Day 6 : ( I am being treated with IVIG) Can I be shifted to my hometown?
Day 10: So, I am going home now, In one month I can join the office right?
Day 25: Doesn’t look like I can join the office next month, When can I join back?
Day 30: My therapist: It has been a month now right? Your recovery will be faster now?
Day 35: I am put on work from home, but when can I walk to the office?
Day 37: Today I walked with a walker!!! First time I left the room without a wheelchair!!!!
Day 40: No, I don’t want to go out, you(my father) will have to lift me, not easy. I ‘ll go out when I can walk alone.
Day 60: Don’t leave my hands… I can’t walk… I’ll fall… I am scared
Day 65: okay..okay, take me to the gym I ll try cycling, but if I fall?
Day 90: I need to start swimming, let us go talk to the coach!!!
Day 95: It has been 3 months now, When can I walk to the office?
Day 180: I ‘ll shift to Mumbai, back to work, but I need a stick, will people laugh at me?
Day 200: It is very overwhelming to be back, I am unable to walk to work, but I can sit in my office every day.
Day 250: I am not sure, did I make the right decision, I am unable to jump or climb steps alone. I am still weak.
You get a gist of it now. Every day is a new question, a new longing towards a new end goal. Did counting days help? Did asking questions and longing for recovery help? Did I finally figure out how many days is long enough for recovery?
Long is Monday Mornings to Friday evenings, Long is that day when our results are going to come but haven’t been realized, long is the wait for approval or rejection. Isn’t it?
No, it isn’t. Long is what we think is long. We all are always going to want more, need more and seek more. Does that mean we always have to keep waiting? Does that mean long is a constant? Not really, it is going to change every day, every minute. We are humans we change constantly so do our needs and wants. This does not make us any more strong or weaker, it makes us real. Real to face anything from a Guillen Barre Syndrome to that wait at the traffic signal. And no doubt, Long is always as long as we want it to be, every time for a different goal.